The killer babysitter
“Blop blop” went my tears hitting the cold hard wooden floor, I was in a pitch black room the lights were flickering. My mum was going out, “ding-dong”, “oh know that the baby sitter”. I jump to the door click there's know way i'm going out there not as long as she's here. I sat in the corner next to a crack in the floor I looked down to see a cloaked man with a long stick with a sharp stone on the end. After thinking I realised who it was I boarded up the door this was the end.
Woah, this story gave me the chills! You clear description made me feel as though I was in the room with the character. Amazing...
ReplyDeleteI wonder if somehow you could put a twist into the story. I'm wondering if he is a killer of people or another type of killer... maybe you could use a different word that would add some mystery...? Like the "cold blooded" babysitter. Then maybe he could actually be a reptile? I'm not sure. Have you read many stories that have that kind of twist?
Look forward to hearing from you!
- Miss Morgan
Well Done Sam. I like the Description of the "Babysitter" and the weapon.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of when a bee tried to MURDER ME!. Can you add more capital letters really wonder what will happen to the character. I look forward to reading the rest of this. Bye
Thank you Teeny,
Deleteand one thing how does that remind you of a bee trying to murder you.